Parking Joke

Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. “Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce,” the man says. The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank’s underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank’s doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back. “That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest,” the loan officer says. The man writes out a check and starts to walk away. “Wait, sir,” the loan officer says. “You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?” The man smiles, “Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?”

New year dream

My first dream of the new year included a group of guys chasing my car… Really odd don’t cha think?
The car approached an intersection and was about to make a left turn. Suddenly, four guys in black suits and red ties jump in the middle of the road and started singing & dancing! Their moves were in sync with the car’s movement too! After turning, I just laughed to myself at the ridiculous scene I just witnessed. When I turned around to see the scene one more time, I saw the four guys running very hard towards my car! I was surprised but still found it pretty funny. They continued to dance & sing every time the car stopped and continued their chase every time my car drove away. They stuck their faces to the windshield one by one to see who was in the car but could only see the back of my head. I was just laughing uncontrollably at this situation.
Then, i finally arrived at my destination. I enter a hallway and notice four red balloons taped at each step of the stairway with a guy standing underneath each one to hand out something. I tried to avoid them by stepping around the balloons to reach the end of the stairs. A person offered me to pick three numbers from a box of numbered ping pong balls. I got 11, 11, 13. I won a gift and was told to go backstage. I meet this good looking white guy that is apparently my friend. He talks to me about some girl he likes and that he even chased her in a moving car but couldn’t see her. All he knows is that she has white shades. I was laughing inside myself because I thought the dancing guys scene was just a prank and joke. I didn’t know he was preparing so much just for a girl he liked. He seemed starstruck and wanted me to say something but I wasn’t sure how to admit this confusion so I excused myself to get some coffee. I meet the other dancing guys at the coffee machine and one of them recognized me so I admitted to being the one in the car and we all laughed at the situation. The main guy who prepared all this finally realized that it was me and started to act shy around me. His friends tries to help him but I didn’t know what to do either. Overall, when I finally woke up, I found this whole situation enjoyable, realistic, pleasant and hilarious. I kind of wished this actually happened to me. haha

Elderly Joke

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her.

So son #1 bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her.

Son #2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a chauffeur included thinking he would surely win her approval.

Son #3 had to do something even better than these so he bought her a trained parrot. This parrot had been trained for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible. You could mention any verse in the Bible and the parrot could quote it word for word. How useful his nearly blind mother would find that!

Well, the old lady went to the first son and said, “Son, the house is just gorgeous but it’s really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it’s much too large for me to clean and take care of. I really don’t need the house, but thank you anyway.”

Then she explained to her second son, “Son, the car is beautiful, it has everything you could ever want on it, but I don’t drive and I really don’t like that driver, so please return the car.”

Next, she went to son number three and said, “Son, I just want to thank you for that thoughtful gift. The chicken was small, but delicious.”